DEAR ABBY: Our 23-year-old son, “Ed,” was clean-cut, into understanding and staying wholesome, watched his eating regimen — he even joined a gymnasium and was going each week.
Ed has been relationship a lady, “Emily,” who’s the exact opposite. She’s in all probability 100 kilos chubby. She’s additionally soiled, (when she comes right here, there have been days she doesn’t take a bathe).
Twice I’ve discovered Emily’s lingerie on the ground. Final week, she left a pair of her panties on the lavatory flooring. I confirmed Ed and informed him that was the second time I had discovered her underwear (the primary time I didn’t say something). I mentioned, “You must speak to Emily and inform her to not go away her underwear laying round.”
I see a change in Ed. My son hasn’t minimize his hair in 2 1/2 years and he not seems to be as into understanding. This isn’t who we’re as a household. My husband and I are match for our ages (60s) and by all requirements clear and orderly. Ought to I say something to Ed? I really feel like Emily is altering who he’s. — NOT THE SAME IN THE EAST
DEAR NOT THE SAME: Please cease blaming Emily for the adjustments you’ve gotten noticed. Your son is making these adjustments himself. Though his girlfriend seems to be ignorant about fundamental hygiene, I’m not certain you’re the guardian who ought to talk about this with Ed. He is perhaps much less defensive if “the speak” comes from his father, man to man.
I’m unclear in case your son nonetheless lives within the house with you or if he and his girlfriend have a spot of their very own. If it’s the previous, you would definitely be inside your rights to level out that you’ve got a hamper for dirty garments and to please use it. In the event that they stay individually, think about gifting them one for his or her place.
DEAR ABBY: My husband handed away three years in the past. We have been married for 56 years. 4 months previous to our massive, California, Catholic wedding ceremony, we eloped and have been married secretly in Las Vegas. Nobody ever came upon. Coming from a Hispanic household, my father wouldn’t have been receptive, so we mentioned nothing. On reflection, it was a silly factor to do. I used to be solely 19, and he was 22. When he retired from regulation enforcement, we relocated to Washington, the place I nonetheless stay.
I’ve two grownup daughters, and I’m questioning if that is one thing they should know. I nonetheless have our Las Vegas marriage certificates, together with our California marriage certificates — the one we all the time celebrated as our anniversary date. Wouldn’t it be incorrect to tear up the Las Vegas certificates and take this secret to my grave? — WONDERING IN WASHINGTON
DEAR WONDERING: I don’t suppose an elopement between a younger couple who’re deeply in love is something to be ashamed of. Nor do I feel your love story is in any respect “silly.” So long as they damage nobody, people are entitled to a couple “secrets and techniques.” When you want to take this one to your grave, it’s your privilege, and you’ll get no argument from me. I’d, nevertheless, level out that as a result of your first marriage license is a authorized doc, relatively than destroy it, hold it underneath lock and key till you’ve gotten left this earthly toil.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
