DEAR ABBY: I’m a 50-year-old man, married for 17 years with two youngsters. I’ve a principally good marriage, however I’ve been noticing issues that trouble me. Virtually every day, my spouse appears to insult me or make a sarcastic remark.
I work lengthy hours due to the character of my job, which my spouse claims I’m a slave to. At any time when I get a increase, my spouse says, “Is that each one?” She by no means appears proud of what I make. We’re in debt, however she works half time at what she calls a “princess job” that pays nicely per hour, however she works solely three days every week. Typically, nevertheless, she doesn’t work for months.
My spouse appears bored with something I attempt to inform her that isn’t about her. Whereas she cooks, I deal with many of the different chores. I’ve grown much less content material with my scenario lately, though I admit I’m not with out my faults. This has me questioning if there’s one thing flawed with me. I ponder, if I can’t make my spouse blissful, would I be capable to make anyone blissful?
A buddy informed me he thinks I’ve been mentally abused for years. May it’s true? There are occasions when issues really feel superb. That is embarrassing to ask, however have I actually been abused? Has it been occurring for a protracted whereas and I’m simply noticing it now? — LESS THAN HAPPY IN MICHIGAN
DEAR LESS THAN: Your buddy could have a degree. It’s not simply girls who’re subjected to spousal abuse; it occurs to males, too. Your spouse is hardly supportive if she snipes at you each day and refuses to acknowledge your achievements at work.
I want you had talked about why you and your spouse are in debt. It could contribute to the stress that has been taking place in your marriage. Whereas I hesitate to advise you to tackle any extra bills, it would profit you to speak with a licensed counselor, whether or not it’s for you and your spouse, otherwise you alone.
DEAR ABBY: My daughter is 16. She has been along with her boyfriend, who is eighteen, for a 12 months. She says she loves him, however she doesn’t need to go on dates. She additionally doesn’t like to present him hugs (the one sort of affection that’s proven). I’ve informed her it’s OK if she doesn’t like him like that, and it’s OK to not have a boyfriend in any respect. She says she doesn’t need to discuss it.
I’m involved as a result of this isn’t regular. He will get to see her solely when she permits him to return to our home. She might go weeks with out seeing him and be OK. He’s so in love with my daughter that I don’t assume he’ll ever finish their relationship. I simply need her to be blissful, and he or she doesn’t appear to be. I attempt to let her determine issues out herself, however her dad and I are at a loss. How can we assist her? — SOMETHING’S OFF IN OHIO
DEAR OFF: You and your husband ought to keep out of this. That is your daughter’s drawback (if there IS an issue) to resolve. She could like this younger man solely as a buddy, or she could also be taking her time determining the place her true emotions lie. As soon as she does, SHE will finish it. If her boyfriend (I exploit this time period advisedly) desires greater than he’s receiving, he’ll ultimately draw the road himself.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
