Thanks all for coming. As you realize, Duo the multilingual owl handed away peacefully on February 11, 2025. As his executor, it’s my job to learn his final will and testomony. What follows are his phrases.
“Howdy! I’m the instructor who’s gone. Do you know? I’ve written this may in thrilling and memorable English! Are you able to perceive the phrases regarding my dying? Glorious! You’re doing an ideal job!
Now I’ll start. Hear rigorously, or else. First, regarding my Lingot gem fortune: right here you go! You simply acquired fifty gems. Would you want extra? After all. However first you have to watch a brief commercial. My executor will now play a video from Totino’s Pizza Rolls. Are you having fun with the movie? Nice! So as so that you can study, it’s very important that you just watch this.
Glorious! Regarding my physique: it is going to be an open-casket funeral. Do you need to customise my outfit? There are three outfits so that you can select from. Inside my casket, ought to I put on:
Excellent! You’ve chosen Champagne tracksuit. Now I can’t wait to be buried.
Pop quiz! Did you perceive my use of the contraction “you’ve” within the final part? If not, please have the executor repeat the sentence. Don’t fear! You’ve gotten 4 extra tries. When you fail on the fifth attempt, you’ll not be allowed to attend the service.
All through my life, I’ve taught you an important phrases:
Sure, you’ve used these phrases consistently. However now I have to train you the right way to say, “Goodbye! Duo died as a result of I might not observe.”
Trumane, are you able to repeat the earlier phrase? Let’s all pay attention:
Oops! Not fairly! Trumane, you didn’t pronounce the phrase appropriately. You’ve fallen to final place on the leaderboards.
Jeremy? The place is Jeremy? I’m searching for the boy whose title I spoke. Oh, I see! Jeremy is hiding the place he thinks we can not see him. At this second, my executor needs to be making stern eye contact with him. Jeremy, please repeat this phrase: “Within the evening, there will likely be noises in my dwelling.” Glorious! It is necessary that you just memorize this sentence. When you don’t full your lesson, you’ll want it quickly.
You’re seventy-five per cent performed with this may and testomony. Nice work! To proceed, please watch an commercial from the House Depot. Oops! You appeared away from the display. The executor will now begin the video from the start. You’re going to watch this commercial.
Enjoyable problem time! Monica, would you want to gamble seventy gems? When you can translate the following part, you’ll obtain 100 and forty gems! Good! Monica declined the problem. Monica has all the time been afraid of me.
Now there’s solely my dwelling to distribute. As you realize, I’ve 5 hundred million college students. It’s my want that they proceed to stay at my academy. For any scholar who needs to study, there should all the time be a spot for them to remain, except they can not afford the $19.99-per-month subscription, by which case they’ll have restricted entry to the amenities, offered they watch Nissan Altima commercials. Right! Even Jeremy can stay right here.
Nice! That’s it for at this time. I hope you discovered this may enjoyable and rewarding. Goodbye! I’ll by no means see you once more.
P.S.
Glorious! Nice work!
—Duo ♦
