DEAR ABBY: I’m a male scientist at a big college. 4 years in the past, I used to be stunned to obtain an electronic mail from somebody with whom I’d been pals a few years in the past, when he was a postdoctoral fellow in our division. We have been good pals again then, however we misplaced contact when he moved east and give up analysis. He now works in laptop safety. After he reinitiated contact, we resumed the friendship, with common telephone calls and emails.
Two years in the past, he invited me to spend the day with him and his spouse (whom I’d by no means met), after I visited my household on the East Coast. Since my household lives close to him, I took him up on the supply and spent a really nice day with them at their house.
Abby, I by no means heard from him once more! After sending a number of emails and a postcard thanking him and his spouse for being gracious hosts, there was silence ever since. By the way, we’re each Jewish, as is his spouse. Throughout the years earlier than he reconnected with me, he turned Orthodox and really observant, which I’m not. Any ideas about what’s going on and what, if something, I can do about it? — BAFFLED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR BAFFLED: What may need occurred throughout your go to with this outdated/new buddy is anyone’s guess. I doubt your lack of religiosity has something to do with this. Maybe his spouse discouraged additional contact. As a result of he by no means defined why he was withdrawing, it’s possible you’ll by no means know. However as issues stand, I don’t assume there’s something you are able to do about it. Should you hear from him in one other few years, be at liberty to ask him.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been in my relationship for nearly 5 years and imagine that “nothing is fixed however change.” My associate has caviar style with tuna fish cash. They like costly issues however can’t afford to keep up them. They rob from Peter to pay Paul, make purchases with high-interest cost playing cards and complain always they don’t have any extra cash. They’re presently in search of one other job to earn more money to spend.
I stay on a hard and fast revenue. I’m attempting to regulate spending however find yourself in arguments about not having cash to do issues. My associate has mastered the artwork of spending different folks’s cash, together with mine, which I believe is egocentric. Any options about how you can work out these cash points? — ALL ABOUT THE MONEY
DEAR ALL ABOUT THE MONEY: You and your associate have very completely different values in terms of funds. They aren’t going to vary. This is likely one of the topics that almost all incessantly causes {couples} to interrupt up. (Others embrace politics, intercourse, faith and youngster rearing.) My suggestion: Finish the connection earlier than this individual causes you to go bankrupt.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
